


Screaming Silence

by izzy8560



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: Gen, M/M, Self-Harm, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-12
Updated: 2013-08-12
Packaged: 2017-12-23 06:09:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/922924
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izzy8560/pseuds/izzy8560
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Michael is the only one who could save Gavin. It's the one thing he doesn't do, though, that pushes Gavin over the edge.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Screaming Silence

**Author's Note:**

> TRIGGER WARNING: SELF HARM, DEPRESSION

I’d called him everything under the sun. “You little shit!” “Fuckin’ moron!” Even the word ‘retarded’ had slipped my tongue every once in a while. There was one thing I never said though, something even my brain couldn’t formulate into words.

“Go kill yourself.”

Ray said it. Geoff said it. Hell, even Jack and Ryan had told him to. I never did, though.

Because I knew.

I knew how much stress Gavin was under. I knew how often he faked a smile just to avoid the questions. I knew that he’d gone home almost every day, grabbed a pillow as soon as he walked through the door to muffle the screams and cries he’d been holding in. I knew he jabbed sharp scissors into his upper thighs and ran blades along his delicate skin, the blood flowing out just as quickly as his tears. I knew that the countless bracelets he wore hid scars that told stories, stories even I didn’t know.

What was it that finally put him over the edge?

Maybe it was the lack of love I showed him. Maybe it was the insults, the screaming to his face to “leave me the fuck alone”. Maybe it was the fact that his attempts at getting close to me were so fucking obvious, yet I chose to slowly push him away.

Maybe it was the fact that he loved me.

Sure, I loved him back, but not in the same manner. I loved Gavin as a friend, as a best friend. He told me everything that was on his mind, and I did the same. Yet, when he grabbed my hand and told me how he felt…I couldn’t return the feeling.

Things were quiet after that day.

No more yelling. No more faking an angry face, only to end up laughing at something ridiculous he’d said. No more ‘Team Nice Dynamite’ cheers. 

Nothing.

Maybe that was what finally pushed him off the cliff he’d been inching towards for years. Maybe that’s why I walked into his apartment, only to find him hanging in his closet. Maybe that’s why he had a note in his pocket: “I miss the sound of your voice.”

If I’d screamed at the top of my lungs, “I wish you were dead”, would he still be here?

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know what you thought! :)


End file.
